RPAGF Chapter 37: A Warmth That Makes You Want to Cry.
Chapter 37: A Warmth That Makes You Want to Cry.
As the warmth of everyday life drew closer, Xingruo's heartstrings, which had just relaxed, tightened again.
Just now, in the dark alley, it was just her and this uncle; that overwhelming sense of security made her temporarily forget the outside world. But when she saw that beam of orange light squeezing out from the crack in the door, shining on her tattered sneakers, a wave of panic washed over her again.
She remembered that there were many other people inside. The sounds of loud laughter and chatter seemed, at that moment, to be the prelude to a trial.
"What will they think of me?"
Xingruo shrank behind Chen Feng's broad back, her fingers gripping her dress tightly. She was afraid of the disgusted looks they would give her, afraid they would frown at her intrusion, afraid they would point at her and say, "Where did this dirty jinx come from? Don't let her spoil everyone's fun."
These memories of being ostracized, neglected, and treated like "trash" occupy more than half of her life.
Chen Feng stood at the door, not turning around, but he noticed the trembling of a thin figure behind him out of the corner of his eye. He didn't rush in, quickly making plans in his mind.
He planned to have the child sit at the head table so that everyone's enthusiasm would affect her, but then he changed his mind and rejected the idea.
"No, this child is still too sensitive at this stage," Chen Feng thought to himself.
Xingruo is now like a frightened stray cat. Any sudden care or excessive attention is not healing for her, but rather another form of invasion.
If you force her into the center of a crowd, she might not even be able to swallow a bite of food. That would be an insult to the food, and even more so, a secondary injury to the child's dignity.
Eating should be the most relaxed and enjoyable thing in the world.
Sure enough, Zhang Qiang came out to greet me before I even stepped into the store.
"Fengzi, what are you doing rushing out like that... hey?"
Zhang Qiang always had a loud voice, and before he finished speaking, his gaze fell on the small, dark figure behind Chen Feng, who was huddled up with his head down. Zhang Qiang was stunned, his face full of confusion.
In that instant, Xingruo felt the hairs on her body stand on end. She could feel a gaze scrutinizing her, a gaze that made her almost want to turn around and flee into the darkness immediately.
After all, the man in front of me is my uncle's friend. If he feels uncomfortable, I definitely won't stay for even a second longer.
"This little girl is..." Zhang Qiang lowered his voice, his tone filled with curiosity but even more so with pity. However, he was a straightforward person and felt that since they were going to eat inside, there had to be some kind of formality; he couldn't let the child stand there awkwardly like she was invisible.
Chen Feng stopped and turned to the side, like a loyal guardian, to shield Xing Ruo from Zhang Qiang's gaze.
"This is my guest."
Chen Feng's voice wasn't loud, but it was firm and resonant.
"Guest...guest?" Zhang Qiang scratched his head. Although he still had a thousand questions in his mind, he knew Chen Feng best. Since Chen Feng had said so, then he was naturally his guest.
Xingruo's lowered head trembled slightly.
There was no scolding, no chasing away, and I didn't hear the expected "Why is it so dirty?"
The man called "Qiangzi" may seem loud and boisterous, but upon hearing the word "guest," his initially inquisitive gaze instantly turned warm.
"Oh! A guest! That's wonderful!" Zhang Qiang was a warm-hearted man, and upon hearing that she was a guest, he instinctively wanted to show his enthusiasm. He walked forward casually, extending his large, rough hand, which was somewhat calloused from working, as if to pull Xingruo up.
"Come, come, don't be shy with your uncle, sit next to Uncle Qiangzi, we have plenty of meat here!"
Xingruo was so startled that she took a half step back, which left Zhang Qiang's hand awkwardly frozen in mid-air.
"Qiangzi, I can do it," Chen Feng said in time, stopping Qiangzi.
He gestured to Zhang Qiang with his eyes, then pointed to the quietest, least disturbed two-person table in the corner.
Zhang Qiang and Chen Feng were childhood friends, and he understood something from Chen Feng's eyes. He withdrew his hand, chuckling awkwardly, "Right, right, look at me, such a rough fellow. The young lady can sit wherever she wants; comfort is the most important thing!"
Xingruo's heart, which had been in her throat, finally settled back into her chest as Zhang Qiang backed down.
The short walk into the store felt endless to Xingruo.
She kept her eyes fixed on her toes, watching the dirty mud leave faint marks on the clean floor, and felt a pang of guilt.
She dared not look up at the people at the table, for fear of seeing even the slightest hint of disgust in their eyes.
In fact, everyone in the shop had already heard the conversation at the door.
Dazhuang, Lao Zhou, and Zhang Qiang's parents were all honest people who had struggled and suffered at the bottom of society. When they saw the little girl, who was pale and thin, with disheveled hair, and looked as if a gust of wind could blow her away, the sorrow in their hearts outweighed their curiosity.
No one rushed forward to greet them, nor did anyone stop handing out bowls to deliberately watch.
They displayed a benevolent gentleness—a kind of ignoring of her presence. They continued their conversation as if Xingruo's appearance were simply the most natural scene in this ordinary night.
It was as if he were a real guest.
Chen Feng led Xingruo to the most secluded corner. Here, she had her back against the wall covered with rabbit paintings, and a lush green plant on the side blocked most of the view. She could feel the warmth of the store while also making Xingruo feel as comfortable as possible.
"Sit here first," Chen Feng said softly, pulling out a chair as he did so.
Xingruo sat down hesitantly, placing her hands neatly on her knees, her body still somewhat hunched over.
The food on the main table was already laid out. The braised lion's head meatballs in the casserole emitted a rich, savory aroma, while the sizzling fish head filled the air with an irresistible fragrance. Although Chen Feng had just gone out for a while, everyone tacitly refrained from touching their chopsticks, waiting for his return.
Chen Feng didn't rush back to the main table. He took seven exquisite small plates and, under everyone's watchful eyes, took a portion of the essence from each dish.
A few soft and tender lion's head meatballs, a few pieces of fresh and tender fish, and crisp and tender cabbage hearts...
Finally, he scooped up a large bowl of thickly piled white rice and poured a glass of clear juice, then steadily placed it in front of Xingruo on a large wooden tray.
"Eat without worry." Chen Feng bent down, looked the girl in the eye, and said gently, "I just made these tonight. Let me know if you need more."
After saying that, he didn't give Xingruo a chance to refuse or thank him, and turned to walk towards the main table.
Chen Feng returned to the main table and looked at his old buddies who were staring at him expectantly. He knew that if everyone quietly kept staring at that corner, the kid would definitely not be able to handle the meal.
He was the first to raise his glass and shout in a loud voice:
"Brothers, elders! Today, on the grand opening of our 'Human Fireworks' restaurant, let's raise this first toast to everyone who has worked hard for the past two weeks! Cheers!"
"Let's do it!"
Zhang Qiang responded immediately, his loud voice instantly raising the atmosphere to its peak. Everyone raised their glasses, the sounds of clinking glasses, hearty laughter, and Da Zhuang telling jokes blending together.
This deliberately created commotion ironically became Xingruo's best umbrella against the rain.
Xingruo stared blankly at the plate in front of her.
Suddenly a world away.
The rice in front of me was still steaming, and each glistening grain of rice glistened under the light.
She picked up her chopsticks, her fingertips still trembling slightly. She stole a glance at the group of people who were drinking enthusiastically and had no time to pay attention to her. The shackles of "inferiority" in her heart finally loosened a crack.
She picked up a lion's head meatball soaked in broth and put it in her mouth.
In that instant, the rich aroma of the braised pork, the delicate texture of its fat, and the warmth that melted in her mouth slid down her throat into her long-parched stomach. The feeling of being filled with food gave her a comfortable sensation that was almost trembling with pleasure.
It's so warm, so incredibly warm.
The warmth emanating from her stomach flowed through her blood to her cold limbs and into her already numb heart.
Xingruo shoveled the rice into her mouth. It was the most delicious meal she had ever eaten in her life, each bite carrying a desire to live.
But for some reason, as the warm rice went down my throat, an indescribable sour feeling suddenly welled up from my nasal cavity.
She remembered the cold iron basins in the orphanage, the porcelain bowls that the Lin couple smashed after they went bankrupt, and the despair she felt while rummaging through trash cans in the alley.
Under the warm orange light, amidst the laughter and chatter of these strangers, she felt for the first time that she was also a "person".
"Waaah..."
A broken syllable escaped from deep in her throat, but she bit it back down hard on her lips.
Tears streamed down her face without warning, falling in a steady patter into the bowl of snow-white rice. She desperately lowered her head, letting her hair fall to cover her face, not wanting to disturb the celebration banquet over there.
She swallowed hard, letting tears and snot stream down her face. The bitter taste mingled with the aroma of the food, churning wildly in her mouth.
It was the pent-up grievances of too long, the lingering fear after escaping death, and the fear and gratitude for this sudden, unconditional kindness.
At the main table, Da Zhuang's laughter paused slightly, and he couldn't help but glance towards the corner. Zhang Qiang also put down his chicken leg, his lips moving as if he wanted to say something.
Chen Feng gently kicked Zhang Qiang under the table.
He raised his glass, covering half his face, and gestured with his eyes: Keep eating, keep talking, don't turn around.
Chen Feng knew that the child was venting the suffering that words could not describe.
At this moment, any comfort would be in vain; only a bowl of hot rice and the nonchalant noise of the room could offer her the greatest dignity.
And so, a wonderful scene unfolded in the little shop filled with the warmth of everyday life:
On one side was a lively celebration banquet filled with toasts and laughter;
On one side was a thin girl huddled in a corner, tears streaming down her face, yet unable to stop chewing.
The singing did not begin, but the mournful cries like the strings of a harp and the aroma of food wove together a most authentic and moving human melody on this ordinary night.
Xingruo didn't know how long she ate it. All she knew was that it was the first time she felt that living in this world could have such a warm taste that made her want to cry.